Being a cryptozoologist is a hard life. No one respects you - not even the creatures you're hunting. Let's commiserate together with these things that only a cryptozoologist would understand.
You can call yourself a cryptozoologist if you believe in cryptids like bigfoot, the chupacabra, and Nessie. It's a totally arbitrary label. Have fun!
What is cryptozoology, anyway?
Cryptozoology is the art and science of studying creatures that may or may not exist. A "cryptid" is a creature of myth and legend - bigfoot, Nessie, and other popular figures like mothman come to mind.
Cryptozoology has its roots in cryptobotany, cryptology, cryptophysiology... pretty much any "crypto-" you can name. There are cryptozoologists who study creatures big and small around the world - they're all trying to find evidence of cryptids for either scientific or personal reasons.
How do I become a cryptozoologist?
Lucky for you, there's no degree in cryptozoology. If you think you are one, then you are! Granted, if you want to be taken seriously, you might consider studying wildlife in college or becoming an expert outdoorsperson, hiker, or hunter.
But really, the most important thing you need is passion for the art of finding things that probably aren't there. If you're good at finding patterns, you'll be a good cryptozoologist.
What dangers do cryptozoologists face?
Out in the field, cryptozoologists are facing all of the things that hunters, photographers, and wildlife biologists face. Ticks, storms, poison ivy, and bad weather plague even the luckiest of outdoorsmen.
Maybe you feel like you're not a cryptozoologist unless you're out in the field every weekend. Don't worry - internet sleuths face real dangers too! Though, these dangers are mostly social: ridicule by friends and family, dramatic internet fights, and the risk of identity theft if you start poking around on the dark web.
How do I date as a cryptozoologist?
Dating as a cryptozoologist can be hard. How do you know if your date will take you and your passion seriously? Dating cryptozoologists can be even harder because you're probably just getting into cryptozoology yourself. Heck, your date might have been cryptozoology-adjacent her entire life.
Most cryptozoologists are too busy studying cryptids to go on many dates anyway. But if they do go out, cryptozoologists often joke about cryptids lightly to see if their date is potentially interested. Then, they slowly reveal that they're an expert. This is the safest strategy, and might even get you a second date!
What if I actually see bigfoot?
Well, you know the drill. Document, document, document. Keep detailed field notes so that you have a bigger case to bring to your local wildlife officers. Photograph or video tape the encounter as it's happening, and make your way over to collect any loose hairs or other evidence as soon as its safe.
Then definitely post your evidence on social media for all to see. Let your uncle and cousin fight about it while you license your footage and become a whole $10 richer when the local news outlet shares your encounter on the 5 o'clock news. What's not to love?
In conclusion, you can call yourself a cryptozoologist even if you only half heartedly believe in Bigfoot. If cryptozoology is something that makes your life more interesting, then you're already ahead of the game!
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